Fair enough, but please, do realize that you're feeding your own pain, you are making it stronger, what you feel fuels it and there is no stop to that unless you own it and learn to let go. If not, you will be trapped in this circle of hate. Just trying to prove to you a point that is very reasonable ans common sense, I know you feel what you feel, but you are alive he is not, you still can change things he can't. It is that and only that simple - give or take, maker or breaker, it all depends on you now what you do with this, seriously you asked, I gave you my honest answer, and it is not me who speaks, it is the supersouls, the aethers, if you don't trust them well, we might end this, since there is no point. I acknowledge your pain but I also have mine to bare, trust me, I had my share of experiences that led me on the edges of reality, and as your pain was pretty real and material, mine was transcendental and I suffered twice, one for the simple and raw material level, two for that I wasn't sure, aware if it really was there or wasn't, I was deprived of owning my pain, my memory was tampered with and I suffered greatly for reasons which are mine to keep. Please be open, tis all I ask of you.