Hello!

Hi BillyJo! It is nice to meet you. You definitely have experience in the paranormal. I am new to this even though I'd experiences in my past.

I think it is interesting that you experience discernment. I've always been that I thought "highly intuitive" since I was a child (It used to get me into trouble) because I can look at a person and tell if they have issues and need to stay away from them, or if they are good people. For example, when my mother introduced me to her boyfriend many years ago(who ended up being her ex husband due to abuse) I felt something not right about him; like something about him is abusive. Well, he was definitely abusive. I told my aunt about it and she states that I have a gift and she has it also. It was pretty overwhelming for me.

I am glad that you told us of your experiences and welcome!

((HUGS BACK))

You can't blame yourself for that. He clearly loved you and wouldn't want you to. My friend, like yours, appeared in many dreams for me soon after his death and hasn't in quite a while. Especially when you are talking about suicide, they have to resolve all their issues from the other side that they weren't able to in life. Once you are able to forgive them, I think they move on. They are always with us (I know I feel Matthew all the time), but the need to show us fades after so long.

RXRom~ Thank you! Thank you! Cookies please and Cherry Kool-Aid. It's very nice to meet you.

TofN~ Venting gets out frustration and clears the mind for more productive channeling..vent all you want.

In the spring of 1988, I was on top of the world. The cutest boy in school liked me and even though we kept our relationship a secret we had a very deep connection. He was also the most popular boy in school and well I wasn't. We talked on the phone, swam in the river, snuck over to eachother's houses...ect. We had an unspoken understanding. A deep spiritual connection. We spent the summer laughing and playing and hiding our relationship. He had a girlfriend but I did not care. He was my first. I gave him my viriginity in his truck to the song "Love Bites" by Def Leppard. I've never felt moved by an experience but this; this was different. I felt like our souls from that point on were one.

In January I recieved a phone call from him on a typically rainy night in Northern California from Travis. He called to ask if I would ever attend his funeral. This wasn't strange to me because we talked about everything under the sun. I told him NO...I did not want to remember him that way. He told me "I would want you there." Then we hung up the phone. I thought nothing of it. I said nothing to nobody given our secret relationship. I swore it was just another conversation.

On January 22nd, 1989, Travis Gene Young drove his truck off the cliff in the mountains and into the ice cold river below. Highway patrol and investigators called it an accident. I know the truth. I can't tell anyone but I feel responsible for what happened. Somehow our connection was lost. I mean instantly vanished...how do you explain that? He doesn't even keep in contact with my from the other side. For a while in dreams, yes...but nothing more than a few.

Sigh.

Venting is good and necessary.

HUG.

Hello Billy Jo and Welcome! Would you like some snacks or a drink? Well you won't get any cause CC never offered me any either. LOL Glad to have you here.

No need to be sorry, Billy Jo, my dear, it's the story of my life.

Feb 2002 a friend of mine from high school committed suicide, one of the main reasons being that his parents did not accept that he was gay. Somehow this information got to my uncle who said something to the effect of "well, they do dismiss school there by opening the windows." I had no clue what the heck that was supposed to mean, and my mother had to explain to me that he's saying that we're all "fairies" (gay). It's hard enough coping with losing someone you love without that garbage. And years later at my uncle's wake, my friend's father was there. He wouldn't have recognized me but I recognized him. I wonder if he would have been there if he knew what my uncle had said about his son.

Sorry, didn't mean to vent but sometimes you just have to.

Thank you for sharing that. I'm sorry things were not different for you.

BillyJo, thankfully he is not. I don't get along with my mother or most of her siblings (she's one of seven), and this uncle was her oldest brother. I realized as an adult that they are bitter and petty people but as a kid I was literally the butt of every joke, and they thought they were being funny or maybe trying to loosen up a serious child but they never realized how much their dumb jokes hurt. I think he came to me even in death in this same manner, as a test as if to say, "Oh you say you're a psychic, well let's see about that." It pissed me off frankly because I think of crossing over someone as something nice to do out of the goodness of my heart and something that creates a bond, and I just didn't want that experience with someone so loathsome. I hope he's changed on the other side and the fact that he hasn't really been back makes me think he has.

I agree with Tresses on the part where they don't "go inside".

I returned to NJ back in May of 2011 for my Aunt's funeral. The funeral home that handled it has been in operation for 5 generations now with the same family (as well as being long time friends of my family). Oddly, its also the funeral home that handled the final arrangements for my father when I was 10 and my grandmother back in 2000; as well as numerous friends over the years.

The only time I had severe difficulty going in was when I was 16 - Michelle, a girl, the same age as my brother (who is younger by 2 1/2 years) had shot herself with her brother-in-law's service revolver. However, despite the coaxing of her older brother (10 years older than me), I could not go in to the actual parlor where she was laid out for visitation, much less the building. I was so inundated with anger, remorse, and sadness that I felt like I was suffocating. She (Michelle) was there,and was still in agony and pain. Thus I stayed outside on the wrap-around porch of the funeral home. Michelle was not in the same circle of friends that I had, and thus, aside from church on Sundays, I never saw her ... so really had no clue what her "demons" were that caused her to take her own life. A boy, a few weeks later, who was a year ahead of me in school took his own life (no tie ins between the two for suicides as we attended a different school than Michelle). Again, I couldn't enter due to the same overwhelming emotions. The end result between both was that I was extremely drained before even leaving to go home.

In May when I returned, I was expected to be inside - partly because it was family... and to help receive people coming in to pay their respects. But the atmosphere inside and out was actually quiet for a change through the majority of the place. It wasn't until at one point when I needed to use the rest room and I was escorted back to a private bathroom. It was actually near the stair case that led downstairs to the prep room. Only then did I feel any type of heaviness.

Death doesn't scare me. I welcome it as it is the next step in all of our journeys. And, the emotions that can be picked up on do not scare me either. While some of it can be upsetting or distressing, I know that the spirit is not attached to the vessel that once carried it. Regardless of whether it is a free soul or not.

Very true. So is your uncle still with you?

My daughter's grandfather's spirit was SO PRESENT that I could feel him and I eventually went to the "PSYCHIC COWBOY" and by the way he is no joke. He read me over the phone pro-bono and told me things he could not possibly have known unless he was the real deal. He'd never met me didn't know what I looked like and I never told him any details at all... that said grandpa is ATTACHED to my daughter...sits on her shoulder in every photo *orb* He protects her at every realm on every level...everpresent.

When he died it was 7 pm...I was in my room half a world away and I felt a presence, I looked up and said "Would you please leave my room" ...I had no clue it was him until my mother-in-law called and said "Tommy died last night"...I said was this around 7 pm? She said yes...so he left his body and headed straight for my daughter. He loved her so much...

That's why I asked if your uncle was still with you.

They definitely don't go to their own funerals. My uncle for example followed me to the wake, left me at the door to the funeral home and then came home with me as soon as I left. I remember being freaked out at the appearance of the body and how much of the shell it really is that it appeared with no soul inside. My father (who's catholic) told me to go up to the casket and say a prayer for him. I told him no because that body was no longer him.